Several months ago, I read the most amazing book called "The Promise" by Robert J. Morgan. The funny thing about the way this book found me is, I was looking for a book by Joel Osteen, who was my only form of "going to church" for over a year because my previous job had me traveling every weekend for 9 months out of the year. At any rate, I knew from that deep down, hotel room loneliness feeling, that I needed a Joel Osteen pick me up. At this point in time however, I had that deep down broke feeling so I saw this bright yellow book, right next to Joel's for less money. The title grabbed me, but the subtitle was how I knew we were meant for each other. I had been reminding myself of Romans 8:28 over and over again while I have been going through this not so fruitful season. The book was amazing. I felt encouraged.I told everyone about it.
Only now do I realize, that I was using that book as a pick me up, instead of picking up the inspiration for the book. My Bible. I really feel like I need to give a long drawn out testimony here, but my husband went out with the baby and I feel like I need to get his permission first before telling all of our business. But I will say this, there is no way I could be doing this on my own. For everyone out there that is going through a dry season in your life, surround your self with uplifting thoughts, words, music. It makes such a difference and if you get a chance read Romans 8:28. Even better, read Romans 8:18-39. And by all means pick up that book by Robert J. Morgan.
Just to go back to post about Mya(my plant). If she didn't shrivel up and go back to the earth, there is no way new life could have been created and such abundance. All things work together for good. Not some, but allll. So this too shall pass, my brother/sister, and to myself too self :)
As I get older, I often wonder what does it all mean and what are they going to say about me when I’m gone. I thought about that and I stumbled across this picture of my son running to my dad. I thought..wow this is it. I want my son to have that look in his eyes when he looks at his grandson. There is something to be said for having a happy child and an a willing grandparent. In the beginning, my dad sorted treated my new mommyness as some sort of outbreak of swine flu or something. Every once in a while he would drop off a case of water. He didn’t want to hold the baby. He was sort of..uncomfortable with the whole thing. But I understand now. I was/am his baby. As my role changes so does his. He is now a grandpa. Or as my son calls him. "Pop Pop" And now I am this all seeing, all teaching, all consoling, all snack and trash holding creature known as a mother. Wow! So my son is part of my legacy. The other part..hugs! I am a hugger. Sometimes when I meet somebody for the first time, if we have really bonded at the end of our meeting. I will throw a hug in there. If I have a fight with my husband, or my friend.. it will be followed with the phrase "C’mon lets hug it out". This picture is all me all day. Running to Pop Pop and giving hugs. My baby, my legacy. If he can sing and write I may have a r&b singer on my hands :)
5 years ago myself and the greatest work husband a gal can have ditched work early one day and just started walking. We ended up near west 4th street and I saw the prettiest purple plant. A little background on me. I love purple. I even have purple couches. So I bought the plant. For 3 years that plant grew and grew until it covered my entire window, and then draped toward the floor. When I was pregnant with my son, my plant, Mya(yes, I named her) sprouted a mushroom. I was devastated. I had to get rid of her for health reasons. But I felt good knowing she was going to my mom's place. My mom had been asking for a small piece of mya for her garden forever! So I brought Mya over there. About a month and a half later Mya was dead. My mom hadn't watered her, or made sure she didn't get too much water, or brought her inside when it was cold, and I'm sure she didn't talk to her like I did. I was devastated. I know its just a plant. But this is the only plant I had succesfully taken care of. After 3 years of tlc, she was gone in less than 2 months. Yesterday, as I pulled in front of my mom's place, I noticed purple leaves poking out of the cement by the curb. Then more purple leaves sprouting from the soil at the base of the tree in front of the house. Then two mini maya's growing around the big brown pot where Maya used to be. When I pulled away to leave I almost cried. Mya had really ministered to me. I put so much time and effort and energy and love into that plant. When she was taken away I felt so bad. The questions arose. Should I have tried something different to keep her, should I have not given her to my mom? But the reality is, for everything there is a season. And what I thought was something lost has now produced over and above what I imagined. She appeared to be dried up and lifeless, but I couldnlt see what was going on under the soil. I couldn't see that new life was being produced through what looked like an impossible situation. Mya had not grown in almost 2 years. It took that long for life to come from that dead situation. But I never threw her out. I left those old shriveled up branches in that pot, in the garden, in the sun. I would check periodically for signs of life. I believed she would grow again. Did you get it yet? Around the same time I lost Mya I was let go from my company. I gave them even more than I gave Mya :) When I was let go, I was devastated. It was the most succesful I had been in my career. Just like .Mya I wasn't prepared to let it go. But I beleive that an even greater and abundant blessing will come through. Just like Mya, I have not changed my position. I have also come to realize that my season had just changed. I am so ready for my new opportunities to sprout out of the concrete and the soil; and so much so that I can have my choice of what I want to do and where I want to go. I know this blog is usually sassy and funny but I have to take you to church on this one. Romans 8:28 is a scripture that you learn in Sunday School but I am leaning on it, living it and loving it more and more. So just don't change your position. Don't think about what it looks like. You can't see what is going on in the background on your behalf.
I am a fast food nista. And I am going to make a confession. As a result of Spicy chicken sandwiches from Wendy’s and McDonald’s Sweet Tea. I am now the owner of a size 14 pencil skirt from H&M. Ugh! Yes I know that just means my butt and hips have ballooned 2 sizes which is not a bad thing in my community. Granted, I can still wear my old size in regular skirts and pants, but pencil skirts need a certain fit so they don't seem skanky and hoochie. More along the lines of slinky yet professional. So, dare I say it, I think I may have to pull back from the Checker’s fries. And the spicy chicken and fries seen here. Maybe I will even put less croutons on my salad. As I hang my head in shame in this picture I am still thinking about the good old days when I could eat anything and not gain weight. Aww man, remember the McRib! That thing was awesomely perfect!!!! I haven't had red meat since I was 14, but I still remember that thing. Do they have a fast food patch? Or gum I can chew to make me eat more greens and less yellows and browns. That just sounds awful, but I guess those are the colors I am digesting. I vow to taste the rainbow from this day forth, and at least get back to a 10 in my pencil skirt.
When I was young I wanted to be a scientist, actress, astronaut and saxophone player... in no particular order. My dad said girls don't play the saxophone. So, I just figured my dad must know because he is a grown up. My mom took me to get head shots, but never had time to bring me to any call backs ( Thanks a lot Carrie). And after mixing Comet, 409 and some other mystery product I can't remember, I succeeded in created a permanent green stain on my my downstairs neighbor's awning. So, Einstein, I was not. Of course I only knew about the stain, because I fully tested my experiments by tossing them out of the bathroom window. (Sorry Mr. Mike) I have the twisted fortune of being a left brain and right brain. So when I realized I was good at computers, I figured hmm I may be onto something. My mom figured hmm...lots of money, follow the money. So I did, I went to college, got my degree in Computer Science, and hated every second of it. Then I worked really hard to get into the events industry, and now the economy is not the greatest for events. So, that leads me to today's question. Do I still have time to grow up? Or am I all grown up already? I made a new list, and now I would like to be, and event manager for a company that does big celebrity events that give back, a kindergarten teacher, a speech pathologist and an occasional actress. Just commercials mostly. Definitely no Valtrex commercials or anything like that, because what would my grandma say! I could definitely do one of those Everest College commercials. "Hey you sitting on the couch, get up I did it, you can do it. Get up and call, the number". I also wouldn't turn down a heavily scripted reality show either. So, I have decided to attempt at least 2 of these. I don't know which ones right now because I am sort of winging it. But which do I attempt first? And how can I be a teacher, and still afford my car payment? And who is going to pay my car payment while I am paying for school? Oh, to have a time machine and do this growing up thing all over again. As I sit here, straining to stay up and finish this while chugging on a bottle of water, and noshing on raisin bread, I think its time for me to go to bed so I can go to work tomorrow.
I am an extrovert! Sue me! Put me in a cocktail party, surround me with strangers and in 15 minutes, I will have at least 2 new friends laughing at some random story that is 100% true, and most likely 60% inappropriate. That being said, I wondered why the other day, my manager would say to me in a tone of slight disapproval, "You are such an extrovert". I always thought that was a good thing. But maybe, that is why I was passed over for a recent opening at my company that I was a shoe in for, and that required a sales aspect. I can’t sell an Eskimo a fan, but I could sell him skis, or hot chocolate or anything practical! All that to say, if they are already looking for a product, or in the market for a product I’m your girl! I’m the deal closer. Totes! Ask my partner in crime and work husband, let’s call him Peaches, for anonymity’s sake. We went to a benefit last night, and I struck up a convo with John Legend, and chatted up a socialite mom, and her daughter. What did we talk about? Crab cakes. She loved it! I complimented her mink stoll, she said it was her grandmother’s, I told her she was working it etc. I know... I’m good folks. So why am I still freelancing? I’m starting to think that a little of my extrovertedous-semi-narcissist-fabulositude is not a good thing. Maybe, when I am in that interview seat, I am giving a little too much Kimora and not enough Oprah. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very professional, but you can’t out talk me, market me, or throw an event together in the clinch like me. I know that, and I think I’m ballsy enough to say that when asked. So maybe I’m going to tone it down a little for the next month or so and see where that gets me. What do you think? That being said, if I’m going to be beige, I need a peacock hat or something. I don’t know, this may be a tough one folks!
